And now for something completely different.
Attack of the Cubblies
“Your Majesty, after several failed attempts, we finally managed to capture one of the invading Cubblies. It’s imprisoned in one of the outbuildings.
“Well, can you interrogate it?” the king asked. “Find out what they want, man!”
“It’s just too cute, your Majesty,” the captain said, his face reddening. “The first man who tried to interrogate it untied it and was going to bring it home as a present for his children.”
“Well, find someone who isn’t so damned sentimental then.”
“We did, I’m afraid. That first man we chose was Major Hickens, who is the most bitter, misanthropic man we’ve got. The others don’t stand a chance.”
“You’d better kill it then. We can’t take any chances.”
“How are we going to do that, your Majesty? None of the men will put a hand on it.”
“Well, dammit man! Thank of a way. One of you throw a bag over it, hand to another and get him to drop it in the river. Use your creativity.”
There was a thud on the roof. “What’s that?”
“They’re catapulting themselves over the walls, your Majesty.”
The window smashed and a fluffy, round Cubbly bounced towards the throne. Its wide, liquid eyes sparkled and it stretched out stubby arms towards the king as it tottered towards him. “I wuv you!”
“Aww, that’s adorable,” the king said. “Let’s surrender.”