There is a coffee shop in my city that is quite beautiful. It has a large lawn, which is rare for Korean cities, and has a lot of greenery and flowing water inside and out. It also has a large dog outside that is, I swear, the laziest dog in the world. Every time I’ve been there, he’s always sleeping in the same place. He looks like he’s dead, unless you try to pet him, since he’s a bit skittish of strangers. In honor of him, I’ve written a story. I’ve written it in the style of a kid’s story, although of course with my own weird spin.
The Laziest Dog in the World
Marcus was lazy.
He didn’t chase cats.
He didn’t chase cars.
He didn’t attack mailmen.
If his owner gave him a sausage to eat, he would have to put it in Marcus’ mouth.
Marcus was just that lazy.
One day, the dogcatcher drove by and saw him. “That dog is dead!” he said.
Marcus wasn’t dead, just lazy.
The dogcatcher poked at him.
I should bark to let him know I’m alive, Marcus thought. Then, meh.
The dogcatcher picked him up with a GRUNT!
Marcus was heavy.
He brought him to the pet morgue.
I should wag my tail so they know I’m not dead, Marcus thought. Then, meh.
Marcus lay in the pet morgue for hours.
The table was steel.
It was hard.
It was cold.
Marcus didn’t mind.
Suddenly, his owner burst in.
“That’s my dog!” he said. “He’s not dead. He’s just lazy.”
The dogcatcher looked surprised. “He is?”
The dogcatcher felt Marcus’ heartbeat.
“Yes, he is!” he said. “I should have gotten some training for this job.”
Marcus’ owner carried him home and put him back on the lawn.
I should lick his face to say thank you, Marcus thought. He thought and thought about it.