Peregrine’s Bar
Peregrine’s Bar was open once a month, but on that one day, the place was packed for seventeen hours straight, as patrons crowded in to hear about Peregrine’s latest adventure.
“…and that’s why the Kayan chief gave me this tattoo.” The bar erupted in applause. “Give me five minutes and I’ll tell you about the panther attack I survived.”
“Hey Peregrine, where to next?”
“Kazakhstan.” The crowd oohed appreciatively.
Peregrine closed up at dawn, having made enough in one day to finance his search for another month. The kidnappers had said he would never find her. He’d prove them wrong.
May 8th, 2013 at 9:02 pm
Now that’s a story beneath a story and the real adventure
Liked it – alot
May 8th, 2013 at 9:11 pm
Excellent. I love that.
May 8th, 2013 at 9:40 pm
The actual story peeped out there – love it.
May 8th, 2013 at 10:52 pm
Yep, right at the end there. Thanks. 🙂
May 8th, 2013 at 10:36 pm
What a fantastic character — good job — in only a hundred carefully chosen words, you’ve crafted a much larger tale in my imagination! Thank you so much!
May 8th, 2013 at 10:53 pm
Thank you for your comments. I’m glad you liked it. 🙂
May 8th, 2013 at 10:38 pm
[…] Peregrine’s Bar – Friday Fictioneers (greenwalledtower.wordpress.com) […]
May 8th, 2013 at 10:40 pm
Ok, I want to see this continued. I like Peregrine and want to see him succeed.
May 8th, 2013 at 10:52 pm
I’ve never done a continued story for Friday Fictioneers before, but I like him too and would like to do more with him sometime.
May 9th, 2013 at 12:06 am
Love the idea, nice move
May 9th, 2013 at 12:19 am
Well, that ending caught me off guard. Excellent!
May 9th, 2013 at 12:59 am
Yup, you definitely surprised me with the ending. I like the nuances of his name as well. This has an Indiana Jones feel to it, at least if looking at it from the lighter side which, knowing you, is probably not how you meant it. 😉
janet
May 9th, 2013 at 1:25 am
Great story within a story. I have a feeling Peregrine (like the name!) will succeed. Very original, as always!
May 9th, 2013 at 2:26 am
This was great, David. Comfortable and entertaining with the activities in the bar, and then the closing lines ratcheting everything up to a way different level of awareness. Clever way to instill an immediate backstory along with a full bodied character in so few words. So well done!
May 9th, 2013 at 2:32 am
Oh, how I hope we hear again from Peregrine, and not just once a month!
May 9th, 2013 at 4:14 am
Great take.. and I agree Peregrene is a character to nurture … there is much more to be told
May 9th, 2013 at 4:50 am
Very cool. I like that.
May 9th, 2013 at 6:52 am
Like Janet, I saw it as Indiana Jones-ish too. All in all, it was a great tale, David. This could easily become a series.
May 9th, 2013 at 8:26 am
I get lost when I read your writing. The good kind of lost, of course. 🙂
May 9th, 2013 at 12:35 pm
I read it twice, thrice and then, once again! It’s intriguing. I’d surely like to know more about Peregrine 🙂
May 9th, 2013 at 4:45 pm
I think we’ll see him again sometime. I like his character.
May 9th, 2013 at 3:37 pm
the story’s already so fascinating.. then that twist took it into a whole new level. wow, well done 🙂
May 9th, 2013 at 4:41 pm
Thanks. 🙂
May 9th, 2013 at 5:33 pm
Very clever story, well told, great ending.
May 9th, 2013 at 6:11 pm
Dear David,
Peregrine is a fascinating character. Obviously a storyteller extraordinaire. A multi-layered, enjoyable piece that left me wanting more. I think you have the basis for a compelling novel.
Shalom,
Rochelle
May 9th, 2013 at 9:55 pm
My American friend once told “We think of east but never beyond Paris”
May 9th, 2013 at 10:03 pm
This is the kind of bar I’d like to own–open once a month with a guaranteed clientele (of course, I wouldn’t want his mission). Good story.
May 10th, 2013 at 8:38 am
Great job! I agree with the other commenters: it deserves a sequel.
May 10th, 2013 at 11:00 am
I agree with the other commenters too. I like the character and would love to hear more of his story.
May 10th, 2013 at 2:09 pm
Fascinating story. Very intriguing and well-done!
May 10th, 2013 at 3:48 pm
Such a surprise. I wasn’t sure if his clientele understood his real mission. Great story.
May 10th, 2013 at 4:37 pm
No, they have no idea. They just think of him as an adventurer. Thanks for the comment.
May 10th, 2013 at 4:33 pm
this is beautiful! hope and pray he will!
May 10th, 2013 at 7:39 pm
What an adventure! I like that you added a deeper reason for his adventuring, not simply doing it for fun. It brings more depth to the story and character.
May 10th, 2013 at 8:56 pm
I want more of this!! I really like the name, the character, the concept and the fortitude! NIce – Did I say I really like this. 🙂
May 11th, 2013 at 10:17 am
Thank you! Glad you liked it so much. I’ll try to continue this in some way.
May 10th, 2013 at 10:15 pm
Great story David. I think Peregrine is living up to his name – traveller, wanderer.
Would love to know more about his adventures.
Dee
May 11th, 2013 at 4:45 am
Ah I like this character. He’s kind of like the most interesting man in the world with a very successful work schedule. And he’s working towards a goal! Very enjoyable read!
May 11th, 2013 at 9:51 am
I was originally going to have him be the Most Interesting Bartender in the World, but then decided to give him more dimensions.
May 11th, 2013 at 5:42 pm
What a unique take on the prompt. You definitely have the reader’s attention from the first line to the last. And you have all the good qualities necessary for a great fantasy tale — including the perfect name for your main character.
May 11th, 2013 at 9:10 pm
I do like that name. I’m planning to do more with this in one form or another.
May 11th, 2013 at 8:53 pm
A perfect little story – which would make a great premise for a longer tale. Fabulous stuff 🙂
May 13th, 2013 at 7:02 am
Brilliant! This was an amazing flash. So much storytelling in such a short Flash. Well done!
May 13th, 2013 at 7:59 am
This could start a novel, David.
May 13th, 2013 at 8:54 am
Thanks, Ted. I’m thinking about it. 🙂
May 13th, 2013 at 6:56 pm
Oh wow. Very powerful. The tone changes completely in those last few lines. Very enjoyable.
May 14th, 2013 at 11:13 pm
Peregrine is a great word and I love the adventurous feel to this. I hope we hear more from him too.
May 15th, 2013 at 8:23 pm
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May 22nd, 2013 at 11:59 pm
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May 29th, 2013 at 6:07 pm
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June 5th, 2013 at 6:18 pm
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June 12th, 2013 at 8:43 pm
[…] My apologies if this one is a little less stand-alone. However, here are the previous editions: 1. Peregrine’s Bar, 2. Clue 43, 3. Midnight Call, 4. Special Becky, 5. Freakish Becky. Obviously when you write […]
February 27th, 2014 at 8:01 pm
[…] the same way, when I wrote Peregrine’s Bar, another commenter suggested doing more with it, so I turned it into a series and now I’m […]